The power to be true to You

The power to be true to You,

Until upon my face

The Judgement push His Picture -

Presumptuous of Your Place -

Of This - Could Man Deprive Me -

Himself - the Heaven Excel -

Whose invitation - Yours reduced 

Until it showed too small

Emily Dickinson fascicle Thirty-Two, Sheet Six (CM)

As I struggle knowing I have breast cancer and faced with surgery options this poem spoke to me. This is the year I am going to be unapologetically me.

Aesthetic Flat Closure, images of women who have willingly and happily given up their breasts and now wear their bare chest like a shield of armor. Who wouldn’t be intrigued by these images of aesthetic flat closure. I admire my teenage sons strutting around without a shirt on, the freedom to not wear a shirt and go bear chested, in the middle of Kentucky’s summers was appealing.

 After my diagnosis I was angry and wanted nothing to do with my breasts. I was going to go flat as well, until I did some soul searching and realized I do love my breasts and body in general.  You really learn a lot about yourself when faced with having to make decisions like this. I am a feminine person. I like being a woman, I like being feminine, I like being submissive, I like women, I like sunflowers, I like octopuses, and I like men, I’m not bisexual, I’m queer because fitting into a conventional norm never suited me.  I am just grateful that more and more people are coming together in LGBTIQQ support groups and can express themselves freely. Because whether you have boobs or not, being able to express yourself in a supportive environment allows a person to be who they need to be. Man cannot deprive you from the Heaven you seek. That is man's invitation which is too small because he is not the one to invite you.